Ever see that movie with Chris O' Donnell in it? That's what I think anytime some kind of commitment is brought up now..lol. When women ask him to marry them, he gets this visual of wild horses running, as if that's all he wants to do, so that's what he sees. I get that same type of feeling when I think about commitment. It's not that I don't want to be happy for the rest of my life with someone, but something always mucks it up.
In all of my exs' defense, I will say that I nitpick when I'm in a relationship to find something, anything, wrong so I have to get out. In my defense there usually is something going on. I have an incredibly strong intuition that senses problems (like lies, withholding information, cheating, etc) and I pick up on the slightest things. But sometimes I think I "activate" my intuition on purpose because I'm uncomfortable being comfortable, if that makes any sense.
I guess I just love that new relationship feeling. The goosebumps, the butterflies, the scenes taken straight from a romantic comedy. I thrive on that feeling. So once things become comfortable and predictable, I get bored. I stir up drama to get out. I do, I admit that, I know that. So how do I fix it? How do I change?
I refuse to stop listening to my intuition. I don't want to fall ignorantly for someone who's going to break my heart. Who does? But how do I calm that intuition so I can get over tiny things that I'm sure I myself do, like flirt with the opposite sex. Everyone does it, even when they're in a committed happy relationship. They don't expect their partners to flip out, so why would they? This is where my problem lies.
So I don't have a clue what to do to calm myself and just enjoy being with someone. Anyone out there have any suggestions?
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