Happiness

Happiness is a state of mind. No one can make you happy. You can't buy happiness and there's no miracle drug you can take that will make you happy. Not really. You have to actively choose to be happy with who you are and what's going on in your life. That's what I've learned.

I can finally say I'm happy. After so long of dealing with depression and sad thoughts, I think I'm finally in a happy place. Why? Because I choose to be. Yes, things happen that make you sad, but it's how you deal with them that determines your level of happiness. Think about this the next time you think of yourself as unhappy. You just have to look on the bright side of things.

"My boyfriend dumped me, my world is crashing down." Well, that sucks, it really does, but what else do you have going for you in life? You have to make the effort to live in order to be happy. I thought for the longest time that that saying "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" was a bunch of crap. But really it's pretty accurate. Those moments of happiness you get from relationships really make you who you are. Yes they hurt terribly when they end, but the lessons you learn from them will be a key in deciding your happiness in the future. Now you know not to let future boyfriends do X, Y and Z to you, and you'll know when to spot deal breakers before they escalate into damaging territory.

If I'm not making much sense it may be because I've been drinking, but really, to me, I make perfect sense. If you need further explanation or whatever, feel free to leave a comment with any questions you may have.

People, know this: only you can truly provide your own happiness. And to get there, you just have to make the effort to be happy. It may seem impossible, but trust me, it's not.

Until next time, dear readers, I remain..

The Girl Upstairs

Never meet an online friend irl

Two things I've learned from meeting online friends in real life:

1. No matter how much you think you know them, how much you get along, and how long you've been talking, this does not mean you will get along in real life, and
2. It hurts just as bad as someone who's face you've known forever when they break your heart.

Moral of the story:  If you have trust issues to begin with, do not let your guard down for anyone. Make them earn your trust before you open up and let them in.

Yes, this commitment-phobe took a chance and it bit me in the ass. Never fear, dear readers, I will learn to trust again. When, I don't know.

Long-time online friend, if you're reading: You may have wounded me, but those scars will heal eventually.

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside

-Kelly Clarkson "Behind These Hazel Eyes"

But I will heal, I promise.